Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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