I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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