Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
