I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize