barbara walters just said penis...
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
