What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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