I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Randomize
