Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
