Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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