Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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