only if we run a train.
done.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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