wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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