Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
