i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize