i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
