So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
