so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
