you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
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