i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
