I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
