Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
