the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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