ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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