I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
