Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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