I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
