i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
you had me at cake vodka
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize