isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
