i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize