what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
