weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Sober January is a disaster.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
My vagina is very pro this idea
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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