I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Congratulations! We have a period
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
