oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize