who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
