this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
