I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
