...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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