very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
