do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
