U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
