Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
