i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
