I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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