your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
