Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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