he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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