She's JV to your varsity
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize