I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
