I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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