So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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