Is it because I queefed?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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