Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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