I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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