"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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