I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
