I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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