Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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