Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize