He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
