Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
